I would like to talk about a topic that really gets every single cell in me mobilised to say something. Lately as I have been inviting applications to work with me, I have received messages from mothers looking to work. That is amazing and something I absolutely want to support. However the way those women expressed themselves and pitched their skills surprised me greatly. They don’t seem to feel worthy enough or even realise how they come across. So I would like to send them some sound advice and a great deal of support.

I see women returning to work who underestimate their value, have low confidence and at time can even sound desperate to get a job. They jump on job offers with a short e-mail, offering pretty much ‘anything’ the employer would need as long as they can get some paid hours in return. They might not be suitable for the job requirements, however they emphasize their personal commitment and high productivity. And where it gets worse is when they add that they are in real need of ‘intellectual stimulation’. Dare I say ‘wrong move’?!

I get it. Having been a mother with a young child at home, I know this is how you feel. You need an outlet, something for you and using your brain. True, you are a wonder of productivity. You can smash many things into one hour and you are not afraid to roll up your sleeves. Earning your own money is a key motivator, when you are trapped at home limited by how much you’ve got to spend. And it is only natural that after not working for a while, you would feel a bit hesitant about your skills. You are not alone in feeling like this by the way. It is definitely time you get back that part of your life called your work!

Now my most caring message to you is this: keep how you feel for yourself, and communicate differently.  Because this is a temporary stage, and you will regain your place, your status and your own self-esteem like it was before. But because as mothers we get gently forced to surrender a lot and go with the flow, we can forget that work does not speak the same langage. Being totally upfront isn’t going to get you on top of the pile of candidates, unless the hiring manager is a struggling mother ready to admit it.

What I am saying is that it is time for you to remember everything that you are, and put yourself out there accordingly. First of all, you never lose your skills. What you knew very well to do prior to having children, you can do with brio tomorrow if it was thrown at you. You just need to trust that. Too often women throw out the window the skills they had before children like they are no longer relevant. No way! They are amongst your best assets. So these should be first on your applications.

Secondly when you put your hand up for a job, you need to do it professionally and with decent effort. I know this can feel unfamiliar after so long, but getting a job isn’t a quick step-process. What you put in (a little or more), you get back. So get your CV updated and looking like the amazing person that you are. Spruce up your LinkedIn profile, with a nice photo and being endorsed for the right skills, with a few recommendations. For further tips, you can download my Ultimate Job Search Checklist in the Resources Library here.

Rather than launching yourself into anything that fits the ‘flexible hours’ mould that you highly care about, you also need to think about what you want. That sounds obvious, but often when I talk to working mothers they simply overlook that bit. It can feel uneasy to put yourself first, when you have children and other constraints to work around but trust me the best way to get hired is to know what job you want. It’s unavoidable. You can continue throwing spaghetti at the wall waiting for something to stick for ages, but it simply won’t or will only for a blitz of time.

Enter the usual trap for women looking to return to work: the part-time work trap. We think this is rare, so we jump on anything that has the word ‘flexible’ in it. That’s not how the world goes. I’m here to tell you that you decide on what job you want, and you steer yourself towards making it happen. Not the other way around. Pave the way for opportunities to flow. It takes work, but with clarity and focus it is absolutely achievable.

Which leads me to the underlying piece of this whole puzzle: knowing that you are worthy. That you have special gifts to bring and that you are freaking good at your job. That confidence piece is huge, and takes time to build back. Use the help of a very supportive friend who has been there or a coach. Kids are not exactly the type of people who will boost our confidence, more like testing it. So know that you are vulnerable, and look into other areas of your life to reconnect with your abilities.

Once you are there, you won’t sell yourself short. Or send a desperate plea for work. You will ask for the rate that you are worth. And you will get the job, or the jobs. This about putting yourself in the best light for a hiring employer. And it means doing the personal work first, because you cannot sustain appearances very long and it would be draining. You are so worthy, you just need to re-learn the reasons why. And it takes time to rise again, so lower the pressure…