Many of us aspire to a change in their career. Towards something more fulfilling, a better cultural fit, or a new challenge. We wonder what direction to take, look around but don’t find anything suitable. Some of us can end up stuck, unsure how to break out out of this phase. We know what we don’t want, but taking action towards what we want is a whole different ball game. And this is all because of some thoughts about our career that prevent us from moving forward.
I know this because of my own personal experience, and working with many women on the same journey. These beliefs aren’t easy to spot at first sight, because we have our attention on how we feel and what’s not happening. So I’m offering them to you here so you can reflect, and maybe start seeing things differently. Are these thoughts about your career potentially blocking you?
My husband thinks his job is more important, and I always have to deal with the kids
You feel left out, and somewhat resentful. So you either decide to make peace with it, and tell yourself your family is your priority. Except that you don’t believe it deep down. Or you decide to engineer something that will work with everybody, which feels like super hard work (enter discouragement). So imagine instead thinking that your job is equally as important. That the kids don’t have to be all the time your responsibility. This gives you the freedom to explore, and removes guilt. You will figure things out. That’s what you do.
I would have to drop my income, and this would impact me and my family
This belief is stemming from looking at your current circumstances. Of course you need the money, the safety. Which will keep you here forever, as long as you think this. But you could earn as much, if not more in another job, right? The mind will keep you focused on what’s to lose. Recognise it, and choose differently. The possibilities are endless. It’s just that you don’t know how it will work out financially, so you doubt it. I tell you from the other side, there is always a way. You will look back realising this wasn’t a valid reason for staying.
I’m not confident selling myself to employers
So you don’t put yourself out there, wait for opportunities, don’t ask. Which means you don’t get, and your sense of self-worth gets affected. You wouldn’t know how to land that great job. Can you see how this works as an valid reason not to seek out your next role? You can choose to stay here. Or you can tell yourself that you’re going to have to overcome that later, because the prize is too good. You weren’t born like this. You can re-learn. It’s OK.
My background is a mishmash of experiences already
Looking at your past, you might think your CV looks a bit scattered or lacking that ‘perfect’ path. You’ve tried a few things, maybe had a career break. Well you aren’t going to change that. But using this as a driver not to explore widely your next aspirations isn’t helpful. What if your background was actually relevant, and supporting your next step? It allowed you to figure out what you like and don’t like, and build all the value that you can give today. So bring on mishmash, it’s good because it gave you a unique identity and blueprint.
I don’t know if I’m sure of my own ideas
What if you’ve missed something? If you wouldn’t be great at that work you have in mind? Or if there was something else you’d be great at? Particularly note whose opinion you might be listening to here. We can’t be sure about ideas. That’s the whole point of having them, and trying them on. If you gave yourself permission to explore and just take a few steps, what would change?
I get it, it’s tough dealing with your own thoughts when you want a change in your career. Some of these thoughts aren’t helpful, but they are going on loop in our mind. So we have to inspect them, and choose purposely to go beyond some of them. And watch what changes when you do – that it is the ultimate proof they were just beliefs. You’ve got this.
PS: if you really want to move forward, check out my new course “The Career Game Plan”. Details HERE.
