Most of us fall prey to this modern tendency of never really switching off. The lines between work, home and social time often blur thanks to technologies and our busy schedules. As a result, we find ourselves thinking about work way more often than the hours in our contract and it can impact our overall quality of life. I have been in that situation for years, but have gotten better at it now. So as I am regularly asked for advice on how to switch off, I’m sharing here my best tips and lessons learnt.
The most obvious thing to do is to create ‘white space’ between your work and your life, like a buffer. This makes the switch very natural and effective. What’s your buffer? Mine is a commute often without music or podcasts. Or if I’m working from home, a walk without headphones. Scary, yes at first, but effective yes. Use that commuting time effectively to create space for you to unwind, before you get into something else. Don’t jam it with another item from your to-do-list as a way to optimise your time. When your head is full, your best time optimisation strategy is to do nothing. New thinking? Try it.
One note for the social media lovers: sorry to break it to you, but social media is a kind of stress ball that keeps your brain engaged and processing. It is not relaxing for your brain, unlike what you may assume. So unless you consume it very passively (watching video, not reacting to anybody’s comment…say what??) you are definitely switched on.
Now onto the more subtle things you can do to create space between you and your work. Simply, don’t check your phone for work e-mails. If you are doing this, give yourself a time after which you won’t check them, and bring it forward every week by 30 minutes. Keep two phones and leave your work one in the car. Use airplane mode or let your work phone run flat when you get home. Leave your laptop at work unless absolutely required. You sometimes have to trick yourself into that separation so your mind follows.
If your workplace is expecting you to remain connected, then there is no place for switching off really. It is a choice you have to make in accordance with your values. I don’t believe there is such thing as half-switching off. The world is trying to tell us that we can do multiple things at once, but we can’t. If you work after hours, your mind is on work mode.
Your language plays a big role when you are trying to switch off. First, in relation to what you are saying to yourself. If you are replaying in your head what happened during the day, an issue or a conversation, you are not letting it go. I like to ask myself if it will matter in a year or two, and that is usually enough to make myself drop it. Secondly, watch your conversations when you get home or meet with friends. Are you bringing up work stuff? Is it necessary? I like to talk about my work day for sure, but there is a big difference between mentioning something and ranting most of the evening about aspects of your work. I really notice how the lesser I talk about work, the easier it is to switch off.
For the lovers of organisation, and the hidden perfectionnists out there, it can also be useful to write down at the end of each day and week what needs to be done the next. It’s a way to offload what’s on your mind and know that it is taken care of. So you don’t have to continue letting it hanging in your head like an open loop.
And finally there is the wild card factor: doing something totally different. It can take many forms: from playing with a child to cooking, having a bath, going for a run, singing in a choir, going to the movies, gardening..etc. You get it, anything that uses such different abilities that you are forced to reprogram your brain (that’s neuroplasticity if you like fancy terms). If you don’t have much planned in your evenings or things to look forward to, chances are your brain will stay busy with your workday thoughts.
If you are doing these daily practices and still find yourself thinking about work after hours, then it is a sign you need a bigger break. And it does not have to be a 2-week trip overseas. It can be as simple as one afternoon off that you dedicate to self-care. You can easily make this up by staying back or use annual leave for that very worthy reason. If you don’t do this, overtime you will find yourself in need of a week off. And so on. Same if you have an intensive work project coming up. Schedule an activity like a massage or a diner out to switch off afterwards.
The rule is simple: if you regularly switch off, you will be good at it and it won’t take you long. If you deny yourself that need, you will eventually get yourself in a state where you don’t know where the switch is. It’s like breathing. If you don’t take time to breathe, you will realise you are short of breath at times. Same thing with your schedule. Seriously what is so critical in our lives that we cannot take twenty minutes off? Where have we got that notion that now is the new must-do?
So next time you are jumping from work into the next thing, think if you really have to or if you just ‘think’ you have to. And most of the time the resounding answer will be ‘no’. So take that break. Shake it off, let it go. It will quickly become a nice little habit.
