Overwhelm is the new epidemic nowadays. Ask psychologists and counsellors, they will tell you it is the main symptom people come to them with. Not to throw in seasonal factors like the end of the year, which add to our already busy lives. We get overwhelmed at work, at home or everywhere in between – which can lead to a general state of stress, anxiety and actually getting less done.
Overwhelm comes from that snowballing effect in our days as we are connected to the world pretty much around the clock. Obligations follow each other as the day goes by, and we don’t get any break to recharge or refocus. And the vicious cycle goes on. No wonder people end up seeking help to cope mentally.
I am very familiar with the overwhelm roller coaster at work, after years in very task-orientated roles. As a super fast and quality doer, I took on a lot and enjoyed the adrenaline that came with it initially. But as my work experience built up, this habit turned progressively into a source of anxiety. I remember in one particular job feeling like a gigantic wave was always about to engulf me, and that’s partially why I quit. My boss didn’t understand ‘what kept me so busy’ and I was too stressed out to even spend time explaining.
This is the real core of overwhelm: starting with an accumulating whirlwind of things to do, it then becomes a paralysing force. You get sucked into a vacuum where your mind keeps re-hashing everything that you have to do, plus how you don’t have enough time. Do you know the feeling? You stop focusing on doing the things on your list, and instead focus on your inability to get them all done. So you are in a state of fright, and the worst part of it is that you are all alone in there.
So how do you deal with it and nip it in the bud? Nowadays I have developed enough self-awareness around my own mental load that I can catch myself in time. That is the first step – you need to catch yourself at the gate. After things start raining on you, and just before your mind gets sucked into the vortex of emotions that go with it. Just tell yourself ‘oh, I’m doing it’. And that’s totally OK by the way. It’s actually a sign of intelligence to be able to spot when you are overwhelmed or not dealing with something.
Next I like to do a full ‘mental download‘ of what is in my head. List it all down on paper or on your phone. What you have to do at work today, this week and next. The things to do at home, with the family, or in your personal life. Once it has gone from your head to the external reality, it already feels easier. Because you know you’ve got it all captured. So you can relax about forgetting anything. Then I prioritise into high/medium/low buckets, and for high priorities I consider how long each will realistically take me. It’s amazing how things get decomplexified when you do the maths on paper.
Now you have replaced a ‘mental mess’ with a more rational view. You can more easily deal with it and find creative solutions to decrease the list. First up I like to delete what is not going to get done. Some things can be postponed by months sometimes, you need to ponder this and ask the right people. Next up you have to think who you can delegate some tasks to. This can be team members, colleagues but also a partner or external person. Finally you need to prioritise in line with your company. This is basic management, and is generally expected at our levels. Sadly nobody teaches you this prior to it hitting you in the face.
Most importantly when overwhelmed, you have to get out of your own bubble. Your overload makes you isolated in your busyness. Ask for help, discuss priorities or ways to solve things on your list. Open up to your usual supports at work and at home. It does not have to be along the lines of ‘help, I can’t do this’. It can be something like ‘I’m looking to do this, would you have any advice on it?’.
Also it helps greatly to get out of your typical enviroment: go for a walk, grab a coffee with a friend and talk about something completely different, watch a series. This lets your mind breathe and creates little breaks in the overwhelm mountain. You might think it’s the last thing you can afford to do, but it is the best one to help you cope in busy times.
My last insight is that overwhelm usually passes. So when you are in a particularly heated phase, buckle up with your best resources and support. Get strong, do the work and create those mini-breaks to look after your mental health. If overwhelm is a constant modus operandi in your life, you might need to think if this is what you truly want. Some people thrive in the fast-lane, so it depends on you. Even if it does not look like it, you are always in control. Overwhelm isn’t an external force that takes upon you. It is your internal forces giving up. Call them back.
