Making peace with the old version of you

If you are reading this you are probably thinking about your career, and the work that you want to be doing. What you might not realise is that you are likely in the midst of a personal journey, shifting from an old version of you to something else. You are sitting in that uncomfortable place of dissatisfaction, of longing, or feeling like there is a misfit. You cannot quite see where you will be next, and you know your current job isn’t ‘it’. Today I want to help you reflect on the ‘old’ version of you. So that you learn everything there is to learn from it, and you move forwards confidently.

How did you end up taking the career path you are on? I invite you to ponder this important question, without judgment and simply out of curiosity. Was it a choice driven by your parents, or partner? A reaction to something? A decision made by default? Something that was ‘expected’ of you? What were you thinking at the time? Knowing why you made the career choice that you made is an empowering step to make your future decisions.

What happens next is that you ‘fall’ into a semi-predictive path. You pivot from job to job, based on the ‘natural’ career progression set out by society or people influencing your career. Decisions are easier and quicker then, and you make small leaps from one role to the next. You focus on building your experience – which is intrinsically linked to your sense of self-worth. The need for material status is also a key driver at the time.

Later in life you get to a place where you have ticked most ‘profit’ goals you had. Your sense of identity evolves, especially if you become a parent. This brings a whole lot of questions, and often a transition towards more personal fulfillment. We can be quick to dismiss the old version of us, because it just does not correspond to who we are and what we want anymore. So if this is you, here is the message I want to offer about that former version of yourself:

• Be kind, compassionate and where need be, be forgiving: you didn’t know back then what you know today. Your aspirations were different. You were trying to please other people, or meet your own high standards.
• Be proud: of all the work you have accomplished, the skills you have matured in, all the people you have impacted through working with them, the outputs you created. Celebrate all the opportunities and the learnings you got.
• Let go of the part of yourself that no longer serves you today: it could be the working bee, the people pleaser, the control lover, the perfectionist, the insecure overachiever, the sensitive underbeliever… Just to name some of the main ones. You know which one you were, and that isn’t bringing you the results you want. And that is often affecting your enjoyment in the middle anyway.
• Understand that where you were before does not mean you need to stay there tomorrow. Change is always possible, and one of the richest things in life. You get to re-assess and can choose a fairly different path. And that is totally OK.
• Monitor that old, familiar version of yourself popping back up in times of doubts. When you are stretched outside your comfort zone, your default will be to swing back into the known, safe position. Or to resume the good old habits that were so ingrained. So acknowledge it is your old self showing up, and decide to go for growth no matter what.
• That past of yours serves a purpose. You don’t fully know it yet, but it will be useful. You will connect the dots later. So embrace it for what it is, and focus your attention on what you feel like doing now.

The old version of you, though it may seem unhelpful or different, is a great teacher to inform your future choices. And if you don’t like some or most of it, let go gracefully of negative emotions so you can get excited for what lies ahead. You do not have to stay the same. Permission granted. Nobody will actually pay that much attention anyway. Welcome the change and start moving into what’s exciting you now.