The benefits of being in the corporate world as well as being a coach outside is that I get to observe first hand some of the challenging situations some of us can find themselves in. And I can help you here with strategies and insights to cope, react differently and find the right solution for you. Today I would like to talk about finding yourself in a negative environment at work. What do you do when your colleagues vent, are frustrated and spend their energy in talking things down?
I was witnessing a conversation recently between a bunch of people talking about an executive and the team culture. I’m sure you know the type. How a particular situation takes bigger proportions, gets layered with other frustrations and eventually makes some people say they have had enough. Whilst people may feel good about sharing their issues, the net output of these conversations is clearly negative for all involved. So how do you react if this is your environment?
My biggest tip after years in various businesses, with different cultures and sizes, is pretty straight-forward: wrap yourself in your own bubble. Make it thick, make it comfy, and easy to see through. It’s like nobody knows the bubble is there but you, and it acts like a barrier between you and the outside work environment. I’m not saying you need a bubble because you are weak, or unable to defend yourself. I simply see it as the most effective way not to get personally involved with things that don’t matter, or will affect you. See it more like an armour, to put yourself first.
Let’s face it, we already have so much to deal with in our own heads. Our own doubts, our wishes that haven’t become reality yet. Our to-do-lists, and own ongoing judgement about everything that we do. If we let negative external influences right in, we expose ourselves to shake our internal world even more. They will come straight in, get in between the cracks of our own mindset and breed. Those inputs will fuel the bits of discontent we have here and there, and turn them into a bigger flow of dissatisfaction. They will look for evidence within us, and automatically form new thoughts as a result. Have you noticed this?
So bubble-wrap yourself. And when you witness or hear negativity around, feel that protective layer which means you get to observe what is said, but not engage with it. Same thing if you see a manager getting angry, team members breaking down. If you receive a high amount of external pressure because something isn’t up to the expectations. Create a space between you and the external stimulus, which is what the bubble represents. This means you can pause and react with intend.
And this is where negative situations can become interesting. Firstly because you get to choose how you will react. Will you join the chorus, and go down the rabbit hole with others? You can experiment, and see how you feel afterwards. In all likelihood you will be worse off, and will make a different choice next time. What a fantastic opportunity to compare your vision and beliefs with those of other people. I am not saying they are bad. But they give you the opportunity to make your own choice, to tap into your own values and own strengths. You get to reframe your perspective, and to focus your mindset in a way that’s helpful and positive for you.
The second interesting learning from these situations is that they teach you how to be more empathic with others. Once you are in control of your own emotions and reaction, you can put your attention onto others. Watch what is going on with them, look for cues in their behaviours, in their words, to really understand them. You will pick up on little signs and feel like you get more insight into them. What they care about, what is triggering them, and what might be going on inside their heads. This is really helpful to grow your own interpersonal skills, people management skills and EQ. As a leader if you can read people well, you will make better decisions for all involved.
Next time you find yourself in a negative conversation, remember to erect that bubble around you and to watch what is happening. Get fascinated by it. See what you can learn about yourself, and about others. If you are strong enough within to begin with, the outside world becomes a great channel to grow yourself.
