Is this you? Are you an introvert and find it challenging to fit in at work? Do you feel pressured to change? Do you sometimes feel an uncomfortable tension deep inside? Are you one of these open plan haters? If you answered yes to any of these, do not despair. It’s totally OK to be introvert at work and they are ways to manage it so you always feel comfortable.
First of all let’s clarify the definition of introvert. You might associate it with shyness, but the true description of an introvert is a person who finds their energy within themselves. Therefore they like being and thinking alone, having personal space rather than playing in big crowds. When they spend a lot of time with people, they need time by themselves to recharge. Recent global data reveals that at least 30% of the population is made of introverts. The exact number is probably closer to 50/50, but given we tend to glorify extrovert behaviours, some people really try to identify themselves as extroverts. And some are really a mix of the two.
If you are one of them, it’s important you recognise and totally accept yourself that way. These days extrovert characteristics such as charisma & public speaking are praised at work. Being outspoken and having a large network are often associated with leadership and success. However research shows that introverts often make better leaders, and that they are better at developing people. So the conclusion is that the workplace needs both. There is no right or wrong way of being in the workplace, both sides have to tap into their strengths and work on their weaknesses.
You would know instinctively if you are introverted: you dread presentations, you find it hard to concentrate in noisy environments, you like to sit quietly at home after a busy week…This is how you function, and the more you honour it, the easier it will get for you at work. The first thing to do is to stop associating being an introvert with being potentially less impactful or performing at work. It has nothing to do with your skills and knowledge, just everything to do with how you interact with and are perceived by others. So scrap that bad feeling of being less, and keep your head up.
Let’s start with your interactions. You do not have to engage in small talk in the office if you don’t feel like it. There is your permission slip, take it. Just ensure you do the ‘normal expected’ talking as part of your work: say a few words at the team meeting, talk to your manager, greet people, lend a hand as needed…That is sufficient enough. We don’t spend all our lives at work and we do not need to make it the ultimate ecosystem for us. Same goes with the social club at work: if your body screams ‘no’ then do yourself a favour and politely decline. Again, it does not make you a lesser employee.
Tactics can be used to increase the space between you and others. Just ensure you don’t overuse them and they don’t disrupt business. Here are some examples: headphones on for critical work, using a spare meeting room, working at your agency/supplier’s office after a meeting, working from home when appropriate, making calls rather than meeting in person. Even taking time to grab some lunch by yourself or going for a walk can be enough to refill your personal tank. The key is not to fall into isolation, but to balance the interaction styles so you get breaks throughout the day to keep your energy levels up.
When it comes to how others perceive us, there is a little more work involved. Because this time we do need to push ourselves gently. But the key is to only do it in small bursts at a time, and to ‘go back to home base’ (your inner energy) afterwards. Like it or not, the workplace is a public place and we need others to get our work done. Not to mention if you are a sales person or a business owner, requiring regular presentations and conversations. So do the work and recharge, do not expand yourself too much.
During training, you are expected to participate to learn by practicing and engaging with the topic. This could feel scary for some, but is proven to be more effective. It is not intended to put you on the spot, so focus on learning collectively. You can find it helpful to see the training from the group’s perspective, rather than just your own. That way your own energy is being supported by the whole group energy.
When you have to do a presentation, take it as a challenge to grow rather than a place to spread your fears. Acknowledge your fears, but keep going and show up. Because after this one, you will feel a little bit less fearful and ever so slightly more comfortable. It is like a muscle you practice. You will never become an extrovert, but your goal is to move a few inches up the scale towards the middle point. I recommend you stock up on energy prior (find a quiet spot for an hour) and afterwards to recharge. So know how you operate, and make it work to your advantage by scheduling things and venues accordingly.
My conclusion is simple: we perform at our best when we allow ourselves to show up fully the way we are, within the circumstances around us. You can often change these, but it is not an immediate process. If you feel out of alignment with your circumstances on several levels, it could be time for a change (see my post on this topic here). But often it is about the minor adjustments, the permissions we give ourselves, to adjust to our environment. So try for yourself, see what little changes you can create to sit more in your integrity at work. You will be surprised how many introverts around you will inspire.
