There are hundreds of books out there about confidence, and how to grow it at work and in your life in general. Lots of theories, and some trendy ways of looking at confidence such as by using body poses. I am not discounting any of these, and if you are into books these are solid materials worth reading. But if you are like a lot of the people I work with, you don’t want the big fat books. You want help now, and in a way that is easy, straight-forward and relatable to you. So I’m happy to share here six practical and impactful ways to build some extra confidence at work.
- Get feedback: this may sound like the last thing you want to be more confident, but it is actually a fantastic confidence builder. Because there is nothing like being in the dark to generate doubts. Know where you are good at, and what you need to work on so you can stand on your feet without hesitating. It may hurt at the start, but just asking for feedback can be enough to even grow that confidence muscle. When you are open to learn about yourself, you are halfway there. And you might learn things that you are great at which you never fully realised too.
- Know your stuff: by this I mean don’t venture where you are not experienced or lack information. Low confidence breeds in the gaps you leave in your work life, so work on limiting those. Don’t give a presentation on a topic you don’t fully master. Wait to speak up until you have a proper point to make. Know the facts behind your words, or don’t put them out there. This also includes doing proper research when interviewing, including researching people you meet. And part of knowing your stuff is also about knowing the boundaries of your expertise. We all have our areas of specialty, so own those and empower others to deal with the rest. Confidence goes hand in hand with modesty in that way.
- Take others off the pedestal: this is one of my favourite, often under-looked way of growing your confidence. Take your focus away from others and whatever is shining around them. Whenever you compare yourself to someone else, you are kindly stabbing your self-esteem. Often when we think others have it all sorted, they are just putting on better appearances covering their own fears as well. So why worry? We are all imperfect, full stop.
- Say no: this one is very effective in building your confidence muscle as you practice. When you are at capacity, don’t want to help or are not the right person, find a polite way to say no. Saying yes when you mean no is a sure way to shoot down your own feelings and therefore your confidence. So be selfish at times, because you will pay the price otherwise. You might think that’s not possible, which might be your lack of confidence talking. Talk to your boss, your team and find other options that work for both you and the business.
- Embrace mistakes: if you get good at saying ‘I’ve stuffed up’ you are on your way to becoming more confident. By allowing yourself to make mistakes or fail, you are learning what to do and this growth mindset will always make you stronger. Take responsibility for your errors, which will empower you as opposed to blaming others. And you will gain plenty more respect that way too, which pays confidence dividend right back at you.
- Be well in your own skin: this one is not often spoken about in workplaces, where you are made to feel like you need to ‘fit in’. It’s important that you wear and behave like your authentic self to feel at your best at work. So do your research about the culture and look around when you interview. Will you be able to wear what makes you feel good? Or will you have to fit into a box that does not inspire you? It is much harder to feel confident when we shrink due to the environment around us. It’s also important that you look after yourself to feel well at work. So deal with any personal well-being issues, so you put your best self forward.
In a nutshell, confidence grows in two ways. Firstly when you limit your gaps – in knowledge, in organisation, in self-awareness, in personal fit with an environment or a task. Secondly when you open yourself to potential issues and learning, you paradoxically open the door to grow stronger in confidence. You can focus on one or the other first, but ultimately start mixing the two to notice the difference. For more confidence tips download The Little Book of Confidence at work from the Resources Library here.
