Who doesn’t want this? As humans, we all want to feel appreciated. And work is definitely a place where this gets put to the test. I was talking to a friend on maternity leave, who declared that she will leave if she does not feel appreciated upon her return to work. It’s interesting how some changes in our lives like becoming a mother can create a shift in what we value including ourselves. So how do you get that appreciation?
There is a big challenge especially amongst women in relation to being appreciated. We expect it, crave it, hate the lack of it, and yet we don’t really work at it. In their latest book about women rising, Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith table the key habits that hold women back at work. And the first two are women’s reluctance to claim their achievements, and expecting their hard work to be noticed. Who can say they have not been there? I definitely have, and remember my intense frustration at being overlooked for promotion after working so hard in a role.
So here is the golden wisdom: to be appreciated, you need to actively show the value that you provide. It sounds simple, but we often miss the step of actually telling people how we contribute to our organisation. I’m not talking about the tasks on your job description. Your salary is your appreciation here, as you are paid to do exactly that. But I’m talking about your behaviours, the added value you bring with your ideas, initiatives, problem solving, relationship building and customer service for instance. Everything you bring with your personality, talents, skills and depth of experience.
So how do you tell your boss how great you are, without sounding like you are bragging? It’s all in how we choose to communicate: our tone, the medium we pick, the frequency we use and how it relates to the other people involved. It has to be done tactfully, in a graceful way, and being relevant to our boss’ agenda or organisation. It could be sending a weekly e-mail to your boss with a few actions or discussions you’ve had this week towards a goal. Or listing cost savings you have achieved and reporting them. Anything outside your standard tasks that bring value. I wrote more about this in a related post.
In addition to actively sharing results, it is about having a language that matches it. When someone positively comments on your work, say thanks AND credit yourself for the hard work. We can be quick to brush it off politely in order not to ‘show off’. Instead use those opportunities to anchor your value. Acknowledge what you have done and the value it brings. It’s like banking little amounts of recognition here and there week by week.
It’s not showy, it’s required to create a positive opinion about you. If you don’t do it, you will be paying for it either in wasted efforts, time invested or chances to get a new job. It has a cost to you if you don’t point at the value you bring. Leaders don’t often have clear space to perceive what their team members are working on and achieving. The good ones will appreciate when you bring it to their attention in a simple manner. And who doesn’t want a great team member?
Creating appreciation for your work around you is not only a feel-good factor for yourself. It is also crucial for your career. Research shows how women are considered for jobs based on contribution (whilst men are considered more based on potential). So by building your ‘appreciation capital’ over time, you are increasing your opportunities. Naturally if you are in an organisation that always takes and never acknowledges what you bring, it might be time to move on. By actually sharing what you do, you can easily test how supportive your management and environment are – all the more reasons.
As you can see, being appreciated at work does not happen out of thin air (sadly!). You play the biggest role in making it happen. But you will also find this rewarding, as it empowers you through understanding your self-worth. This in turn will make you a better contributor and leader, and overall happier at work.
